Get out of the twilight, but save your face. To know new sensations, but to remain yourself. To throw off the puritanical shackles, but not to descend to sexual degradation and the basest manifestations.
In our society, stereotypes of sexual relations flourish and get along well, despite the complete opposite, giving rise to numerous quarrels, discord, infidelity, misunderstanding, dissatisfaction and, as a result, complete disappointment in sex.
On the one hand, there are stereotypical remnants of the puritanical past of the USSR, when there was no sex in our country, and children were born only thanks to the leading guiding role of the Communist Party, which only knew where to direct. These stereotypes are supported and obsessively propagandized by supporters of religious teachings, who call even harmless masturbation an “unnatural prodigal sin”, and for anal sex – we burn in hell without the right to mercy.
And at the same time – widely propagandized now in society and fueled by the endless flickering of low-grade porn films – the cult of sexual perversions, praising and glorifying group sex, violence, sex with animals, swing… this list can be continued endlessly, but the whole idea boils down to the fact that the more perverted – the better, because just sex between men and women is no longer interesting, boring, sucks, not cool, not modern… the list goes on.
Hopeless and ineradicable, despite the notorious sexual revolution, there remains a stereotype, thanks to which millions of women around the world disfigure their body and soul with abortions, which are the result of “standard” sexual intercourse. The industry that produces various contraceptives is flourishing in full bloom, and has not yet picked up an effective, convenient and completely harmless means for the body, despite millions of investments and the latest developments.
Indeed, the procreation instinct, the so-called “basic instinct”, is inherent in us by nature, and it is not so easy to drown it out without harmful consequences. Millions of women swallow hormonal contraceptives without even imagining how the contraceptive effect is achieved. And all this is due to the firmly established stereotype that the main sex is direct contact of the genitals. And everything else – oral and anal sex, petting, games, toys – is all a “secondary” addition to the “main”, “main” sex.
Have you ever tried to distance yourself from such a stereotype? No, we are not asking if you have tried to engage in oral or anal sex, we are asking if you have ever tried to COMPLETELY REPLACE the same “traditional” sex with oral, anal, toys, games, petting, petting, etc.? If you tried to completely replace traditional sexual intercourse with various listed options, then, to begin with, the problem of contraception would disappear for you immediately and for the rest of your life.
Such an established preference for “traditional” sex has given rise to many secondary, but no less ruthless stereotypes – for example, about an erection. How much the poor men have suffered this time! How many stingy male tears they shed, how much money they threw away (exactly thrown away!) on Viagra, how many reproaches from wives have endured thanks to this stereotype.
Everyone has erotic fantasies. As a rule, they go beyond the norms openly or tacitly accepted by partners, so in the vast majority they remain fantasies forever. Why? What’s in the way? And we will answer – “as always – the same stereotypes.” They prevent us from realizing our sexual fantasies, give rise to the feeling that something is missing in sex. That is why we lustfully contemplate a porn movie, afraid to admit to our partner about the desire to repeat what we saw, terrified of accusations of perverted interests. This often becomes the cause of infidelity, when one of the partners, not daring to admit his desires, is forced to look on the side of a less complex person with whom he could realize his dream.
Stereotypes firmly ingrained in our minds prevent us from getting a full return from sexual relations. Sometimes even the most harmless intentions to “fool around” turn into a reason for divorce or a reason for going to the doctor: “you are a pervert and you need to be treated!”. For example, a man, no longer young, who had such a harmless passion – to lick his partner’s anus. Who could feel bad about it? … His wife, brought up puritanically in a “Sovkov” family. They raised two children, but he never dared to offer his wife “this”.
Poor thing! How many women would be delighted with such an offer! But he, the unfortunate one, had to turn to prostitutes, because with them he was not afraid that he would receive an offer to be treated in return. So, the money with which he could have bought his wife several mink fur coats and several diamond necklaces over all these years, he had to give to women of easy virtue, and to present his precious wife with another cheap trinket for her birthday.
But in our society there are enough excesses in a completely opposite direction. Many of those who read this material will be outraged: what’s new here? We, they say, have been going through everything that is written here for a long time, all this is no longer fashionable. That’s another thing – we have cool sex, just anal or oral sex is boring to us. For example, we are always three or four together – isn’t it cool? And we have sex on the gallows – that’s what I understand – sex! … Well, what can we say to such “advanced” ones, or rather those who have seen enough cheap porn and already imagine themselves to be advanced in sex. You are the same slaves of stereotypes, but only a little other stereotypes – imposed not by puritanical remnants, but by cheap porn films and tabloid newspapers. Then, let me ask, if you are so cool, then why is the number of abortions growing so every year? So you are still engaged in the same “traditional” sex, you have only supplemented it with orgies on the gallows, but the stereotypes remain!
Conducted sociological surveys claim that the vast majority of beautiful, wealthy and quite successful men and women are completely dissatisfied with their sexual relationships. Often the reason for such discontent lies in old and boring stereotypes, which are not so easy to get rid of. Stereotypes are a kind of template behavior that is aimed at reducing the energy costs of performing certain actions. Oddly enough, humanity is trying to save energy even on sex!
A classic example of a stereotype in sex is the idea that all sorts of experiments can improve sex. Following the advice of newfangled magazines, couples strive to diversify their intimate life to the maximum. In the race for dubious diversity, some people reach the point of outright fanaticism, turning a quiet, cozy marital bed into a real experimental testing ground. The Kama Sutra is taken literally and couples methodically, day after day, show the wonders of plastics, trying to reproduce exactly the poses described in this ancient treatise. I wonder if it’s possible to have fun making love in such intricate and terribly uncomfortable poses?
Experts say that human sexuality consists of romantic and erotic components. If at least one of these two most important ingredients of love is missing, then sexual life turns into just a banal physiological act that will bring neither happiness nor the desired satisfaction. What kind of harmony is there with a loved one.
The next popular stereotype is that the more sex, the better. Sexual relations between a man and a woman are probably just a hit topic for all sorts of movies, TV series and books – they just scream about sex. All the most intimate things are willingly put on display – feelings, emotions, poses in the smallest details, even how and what the partners talked about during their intimacy. Sex has become commonplace, about which you can easily chat with a girlfriend, sitting in a cafe and lazily sipping a cappuccino on duty.
Sex has ceased to be a sacrament accessible only to two, and this is exactly a sacrament, and not a certain set of tricks and ways to excite a partner and get sexual pleasure. The greatest joy of sex is mutual ecstasy with each other and the joy that you have given pleasure to your partner. At the same time, one should not try to adhere to generally accepted norms, and certainly what is necessary is to neglect any extraneous judgments.
Who sets sexual norms?
Of course, there is no legislation on sex, so there are no regulations and rules. However, certain stereotypes are constantly imposed on us. Puritanical mothers told us that sex is a forbidden topic, authoritative girlfriends claim that anal sex is dirty and only perverts are engaged in it. Our own complexes only strengthen these stereotypes in us. And so we, fearing to seem like libertines and perverts, deny ourselves many pleasures of an intimate nature. We build ourselves barriers that are difficult to overcome.
If we remove these barriers, then we will finally get what everyone is striving for – an uninhibited, stereotype-free sex world in which two people are happy, for whom the most important thing is mutual pleasure brought by having sex.
Just think – boredom in sex! Because of this boredom, which we arrange for ourselves, we rush into all sorts of things, look for extreme sensations on the side, go to strip clubs where we can fantasize looking at the muscular torsos of strippers and kitty girls in tight latex clothes. And all this comes only from a thirst for diversity. But we could have all this at home if we thought more broadly and would not be hindered by all the same notorious rules, and complexes.
Uninhibited sex has nothing to do with perversions or depraved behavior. This is just a bed that is devoid of excessive shyness, it is a fantasy that allows you to bring the variety so desired by many in a relationship. The marital bed, free from complexes and other people’s moralizing, is the best answer to the ironic question: “Is there sex after the wedding?”.
And these are not empty fabrications – in any relationship, if there is no element of exciting intrigue in them, after some time an ordinary ritual is formed – “I brushed my teeth, went to bed, quickly fulfilled my marital duties and went to sleep.” This ritual has two main consequences, or scenarios. The first scenario is a drama. People who love each other once become just spiritual friends, they no longer want each other, they are pleased to sleep together in one cozy crib and….that’s it! Then everyone tries to realize their needs on the side. We’ve arrived!
The second scenario is action. People who love each other together, hand in hand, travel through the magical world of sex without rules and stereotypes, learn the most secret erotic places from each other, play with erotic toys and … live a long, interesting and most importantly – happily.
Of course, all this looks quite schematic, but we must understand that it is simply impossible to build a full-fledged relationship only on common children and sex once a month.
Try to live not as it is customary, but as you and your partner want. After all, intimate relationships are a gift that should be given only to each other, without sharing with anyone.